Links to the Past

As adoptive parents, we have the honor of raising "black" children in America.  This is their new American identity, and one we hope they proudly embrace as they grow to be strong, moral, and  independent adults in our county.  But there is more, our children also have a rich Ethiopian history as part of their background.  As their parents, it is our responsibility to honor this heritage and keep it alive in their lives. 

While I detest well-intentioned but insensitive questions about our adoption from strangers in public that single out my adopted kids as being "different," (they're all my "real" kids, I have no fake kids), we are very open about adoption in our household.  Adoption has blessed our family and enriched all of our lives.  It's beautiful. We are intentional to celebrate the Ethiopian culture in our home.  Because of our children, Ethiopia is very important to us all: food, music, art, animals, language, history, and stories.

We have collected meaningful pieces from this culture to have in our home, to use and proudly display (photographs, wall hangings, cooking utensils, bed spreads, woven bags and mats, books and figures, as well as others tucked away), and regularly cook up full Ethiopian feasts to share with friends. While these flavors, sounds, and material items provide links to their culture, the most valuable and meaningful are the stories, relationships, and memories.  We do our best to keep these alive for our children.    

Tesfaye is especially fortunate to have clear memories and wonderful stories from his childhood in Sidama.  He feels a deep connection with people of his birth village.  He has blessed our family, connecting us to his past with stories, and sharing his experiences.  It's quite remarkable how much he still recalls 3 years after his arrival to America. 

He saves our avocado pits to make spinning tops, shapes bowls our of mud and hardens them in the sun, saves eaten corn cobs to dry for a bowling-type game, pushes hoops around the driveway with a stick, and saves bottle caps to flatten and turn into a whirligig toy.  He has many great tales of shenanigans in Ethiopia. 

We are so proud to have him as our son, and so proud of his history which has become our own. 

*Tesfaye and I have worked over the years to record and type his stories.  Memories still crop up regularly.  We currently have over 50 pages typed, which we plan to print into a book along with his drawing and photographs - such a rich history.  This book will be for him, to keep or to share as he wants.  I feel privileged my son has shared so much with me. 

Heritage

8 red onions
6 tomatoes
4 russet potatoes
1 cabbage
2 pounds carrots
2 pounds green beans
2 pounds beef
3 cups lentils
4 cups injera starter
12 cloves of garlic
+ Shiro powder, oil, Teff flour, jalapenos, Berbere spice, cloves, and Turmeric

= An Ethiopian Feast

And, an important investment in preserving and valuing the heritage our children.

First step: deciding on the menu.  It's always hard to pick only 4-5 dishes to make!  The kids are eager to input their ideas.  We have our favorites: Misr Wat, Shiro, and Men Chet A Bish - and we usually add 2 veggie sides.  For this meal, we added Tikil Gomen (cabbage and potatoes) and Fosulia ba Carat (green beans and carrots). 

It is a major undertaking, but one that's well worth it and incredibly important.  Making a full Ethiopian meal takes a lot of time!  When we make an Ethiopian meal at home, it starts the night before.  The Teff injera starter that is kept in our fridge, is set on the counter, "fed" and allowed to "rest" overnight.

The next morning, I wake early (while still dark outside) to add more flour to our injera starter and blend til smooth.  The soupy batter must sit on the counter for 8-12 hours, to rise, settle, and cool before it's ready to cook.  While that sits, it's time to prep the food: browning beef, soaking lentils and chopping of onion, carrots cabbage, tomatoes, green beans, and potatoes - this typically takes several hours (the pungent onions cause most everyone to cry).  The food itself starts cooking on our stove top by  noon.  With limited burners, I usually start 3 dishes, transfer one to the crock pot, then begin two more later.  The cooking is slow, allowing lots of simmer time between each additional ingredient.  The delicious smell permeates the entire house.  The kids take turns helping with the stirring. Tesfaye is my taste-tester and heat monitor - he always wants more spice!  

The injera batter is ready for cooking by 3 o'clock.  After hours of relaxed stirring and simmering, this is the busy time.  Our injera griddle is heated to 500 degrees, batter poured, and griddle tilted to spread batter to a thin layer.  Covered, the injera cooks quickly. The kids love gathering around as we lift the lid to get a whiff of the trademark sour smell, and see the miraculous transformation from soupy batter to bubbly, spongy injera round.  We carefully lift each injera onto a seteta (woven grass mat) to fan and cool.  The kids are my helpers, transferring the injera to our dining table cooling area before they are ready to be stacked and rolled.  Our double batch makes 18 16-inch injera.

The kids always hope at lease one injera will come off the griddle with a hole - a perfect excuse for taste testing.  

With an hour til dinner, the final two dishes are started: onion cooked, veggies added and allowed to cook down with garlic and spices.  The other three dishes continue to simmer.  The whole house smells of rich Ethiopian spices . . . our mouths are watering - lots of tasting happens!

Finally, it's time to feast.  The injera is rolled and stacked in our Ethiopian basket, reserving a few for the serving platters.  Four large platters are prepared: injera spread as a base and topped with dollops of each dish.  We eat in the traditional Ethiopian style: gathered around, sharing from the central platters, eating with our hands, using the injera.  We especially like sharing this with friends.

The meal is a production and it is of utmost importance - it is a celebration for and of our precious children.

Learning

We're gaining confidence in our Ethiopian cooking.  After years of experimentation, we've successfully kept our injera starter going strong for 9 months, and have 9 dishes we feel we've mastered.  We typically make a big Ethiopian feast twice a month - making 4-6 dishes and injera each time.  And each time we learn new tricks. It takes a lot of time, but is a worthwhile investment. Ethiopian food is the very favorite of our household.  I only wish we could make it more often.

To prepare for our Ethiopian feast, I begin working with the teff starter for injera the day before.  I have also learned to prep my veggies in advance.  Spending time to chop everything the day before makes the cooking day go much more smoothly.  I also pre-cook as needed.  I brown the beef (if using) and fry the potatoes.  

On the day of the feast, I rise early to mix and blend my teff starter (to make injera, three seperate steps are required, each 8-12 hours apart - so if I want to start cooking injera at 4 PM, I like to complete step 2 by 6 AM.  Depending on how many dishes I make, I typically start the actual food cooking at noon (this gives me time to get some school done with the children in the morning).  I utilize all 4-burners on my stove top and every pot on my kitchen!  If we're making more than four dishes, I transfer a completed dish to a crock pot to free up a burner for another pot.  Everything is created at a relaxing pace, with plenty of tasting and lots of simmering.  The hands-on cooking only takes a few hours, then these dishes are left to simmer til dinner time.  

I like to make my injera in the afternoon so it will be cool and ready for rolling by dinner.  Each injera takes only a few minutes to cook, but since we make them one-at-a-time, making 20 requires over an hour.  This is the busiest part of the dinner prep.  Tesfaye is my helper, and each of our moves are choreographed as we fly around with grass mats, transferring injera from the skillet to the cooling area.  This is definitely a two person job and still seems very frantic. 

When it's time to serve, we roll up injera, and serve up several platters of food.  We like to serve the food "family style" - making up a platter for several people to share.  The platters are each lined with a piece of injera and topped with a scoop of each dish.  We put the injera rolls in a basket and the platters along the center of our table - convenient for everyone. 

It's been really fun to share our food with friends - and we certainly look forward to eating it ourselves.

Misir Wat (lentils), Fosulia (beans and carrots), Men Chet Abish (beef), 

 Costa (spinach), Shiro (ground chickpeas)

Melkam Genna!

January 7th is the day Ethiopians celebrate Christmas, Melkam Genna, a colorful time for spiritual celebration of the birth of Christ, feasts, festivity, and games. 

Tesfaye fondly remembers celebrating his "first" Christmas in Addis Ababa, two years ago.  It was in the orphanage in Addis where he was first introduced to "Santa" (their security guard) and was given his very first Christmas gift (a yellow car).  It made an impression on him - he still feels slighted that he didn't receive a hug from Santa.  The orphanage was intentional in introducing a more Western Christmas to the children: Santa and gifts, to prepare them for the Americanized Christmas.

The traditional Ethiopian celebration is beautiful.  

Ethiopian Christmas celebrations are centered on Christ's birth.  Tesfaye and Hiwot had celebrated Genna in their birth village.  The day before Genna, Ethiopians fast.  Christmas morning (January 7th), they dress in traditional shamma (embroidered white long cloth) or white clothing and congregate for an early candlelit church service.
After a day-long church celebration with music and communion, the day is spent with games, festivity, and feasting.  Villages gather to share a feast of various wats and injera.

Presents are not a part of traditional Ethiopian celebrations of Christmas.  Genna is a time for celebrating Christ's birth with the church, family, and neighbors. 

Twelve days after Genna, a three-day holiday is observed to celebrate the baptism of Christ, called Timkat. 

His Story

Sidama, Soccer, and Chickens (watercolor crayon)

Over the Summer, Tesfaye has been sharing his story.
We've heard snippets since he's come home, but over the course of two months, we took the time to be intentional about officially documenting his memories.

Some memories have sadly already been forgotten.  It is important to preserve as much as we can about his early years and his first home.  A year ago, he would have remembered more, but he lacked the language to communicate and he wasn't emotionally ready to share.  He is sadly realizing he is starting to forget.  He is mature enough to recognize the importance of capturing his memories in a book.  He desperately wants to remember. 

This Summer he has been pouring out his heart, and very proudly telling his tale.  His story is told in snippets, captured in his voice - a sweet broken English - him talking while I frantically type, wanting to capture each tale in his own voice.  The more he talked the more he remembered. 

He has shared daily life, funny episodes, and painful heartbreaking memories.
I feel privileged to get this unique glimpse at the past life experiences of my son.
It's amazing what he has remembered - what he has lived - the knowledge he possesses.

One thing made very clear with his tales - he has always been loved.
I am thankful for the love our son has always known - what a beautiful gift.
These stories also bless us with a unique insight to our son. Tesfaye is AMAZING!
God has given him an incredibly generous heart and sensitive nature, an undeniable strength, a wonderful sense of humor, natural work ethic, and an unfathomable smarts. 

I am so thankful to be able to document this part of my son's story.  This is only a part of his story.
I can't wait to see what God will do next in his life. 

*We will be making a book out of his stories and artwork.  We have 50+ pages typed : )

Tales of riding horses, watching cows, climbing trees, gathering food, hunting deer, walking to church, cleaning clothes, making fires, fixing roofs, making toys, playing soccer . . .
He is so proud!

The Village (marker)

Snippets from Tesfaye's story, growing up in a rural village in Sidama, Ethiopia (birth - age 5):

we have like water there next door.  except it don't work.  it have dirty water. it have like hole and there's rope and you put you cup huge cut on there and you pull and you get water.  it kind of like rock and it was deep hole and people put that on rope and that goes under water and they pull that rope.  have to pull rope back up. it's for hair wash. it got old.  we don't use for drink it. used to be good and we don't have to go get water from other place.
usually when we get water. we get water that small river.  we get river.  put it in big pot.  we carry it our head sometime or it our shoulder.  you have to walk kind of a little bit highway those not called.  it wasn't like that highway we have.  it kind of look like street like our street.  it was dirt.  kind of road. and when you carry that water you have to go downhill and get that water.  then you have to go up hill.  it was hard to go uphill.  not every day go. sometime we save water. 
there was waterfall.  there was fresh water.  we fill up bin we bring it we have same kind of like milk jar it have top and it have handle and we walk. 
we walk most place there.

i just play. i didn't do job like everyday.  i do job when need help. i watch cow.  i help.

if it know how to talk sidama i can ask where it that baby my cow.  i hope he still alive.  i like him and i ask him if they name cow they can tell you. i forgot.

i used to do in sidama in the road like walking road it be kind of slippery and i like ski on it.  and when it sunny we play like tag and we run around.  and we climb tree.  and we get like coffee  down and we get coffee from tree.  and sometime they like two wood attach and we kind of like spring on it.  swing not spring.  like swing it like rope and we like sit on it and it kind of move.  we swing.  one wood was ba-ttached together and it kind of like swing.  in the woods.

i thought at first i was only going to tell you one thing.  one thing and i remember more. 
we make book.  can we put picture on that book?  
and she (hiwot) can have my story too.  and my wife will read it.
i can have story and you can have my story too.   

Inside our Home (markers)

Remembering

Now that the Language barrier has dramatically decreased, and the kids are getting much more comfortable and secure at home, we are starting to hear more and more about the first few years of life for Hiwot and Tesfaye.

I hope they will always remember this important, far away beginning. I hope they will remember it fondly. I hope they will remember the people who loved them dearly.
I pray we can help to preserve these precious memories for them.


Remembering Village Life:
Most of his memories of his first five years of life are very traumatic - traumatic events make and impact, creating memories that stick with us longer. My sweet boy has been witness to more death than I could ever imagine. Fortunately he also remembers special times and special friends. I am fascinated by his recollections of everyday life in his village.
Since he was so young, not all of his memories are clear and not all of them make sense. We are trying to help him decipher and sort through these rememberings.


At their home, they kept chickens (10 according to Hiwot). Tesfaye helped to collect eggs each morning. His other chores were to collect dry wood for the fire and to chase off the monkeys (they steal food).
Daddy would "clean" the chickens, mommy would milk the cow.
Everyone helped to collect water.

They had baracho (corn), quocho/kotcho (false banana tree) and bananas growing behind their house. Kotcho was his favorite food (the staple food of Sidama). People who stole "baracho" (corn) or kotcho (false banana) were tied up. Tesfaye assured me he never stole. Apparently people were tied in a dark room: "very scary".

He like to run and play with his friends (Alemayehu was a special friend). They would craft footballs (soccer) out of the kotcho leaves and used sticks for a goal.

He slept on a blanket on the floor of his hut. They had a baby cow he named "bulleto" who also slept inside. Bulleto would sometimes po po inside on the floor. Thankfully, it didn't smell to much. Bulleto would sometimes hit into Tesfaye with his head.

Babies didn't wear diapers, they just went without clothes. Tesfaye went potty at his friend Pepo's house, where there was a floor covering a big hole in the ground.

There were three churches in his area. They walked to church, where their was music - big boys (men) played drums), and adults wore purple dresses (choir robes). They sometimes ate food at church. He remembers a special time they ate beef (cow) at church. His Daddy tied the legs and cut the throat. The cow was cooked over a fire in a big box. It was very good - Tesfaye says while rubbing his belly and smacking his lips. Later the kids took the penis (which we later figured out, much to our relief, he actually meant to say udder) and blew it up into a play ball.

There was music at church, and music when someone died. Once their was "big water" (flood?) and a boy died. Two people living in a "black house" died (village sick house?). He remembers a baby getting sick (a baby sister?) and dying. Tesfaye remembers there being food at a funeral . . . the food fell on the ground and was eaten by a dog.

He also remembers scary tales. He claims he saw a "light bear" (hyena?) who ate people. He also says there was a person with eyes in the back of his head who ate little people. Poor boy, understandably, is still genuinely terrified of this.

When Davis told Tesfaye he would like to go to Sidama, Tesfaye said "no. no food Sidama, no good go".

Later, Tesfaye shared that he does want to go back to visit. He wants to go to Alemyehu's house. We would love to take our entire family back for a visit. Tesfaye said he would save his allowance money! He is excited about the prospect of visiting his first home again. He told us he will talk Sidama and we can talk English. I dearly hope, sweet boy, that we will be able to visit his birth home again before he's lost his original language and before these memories forgotten.


Remember the Orphanage:
Hiwot, not surprisingly, has very few memories of her village life - she was so young, barely three when she left. She does remember "Layla's House", the Layla House Orphanage in Addis Ababa which was her home for 9 months before coming to her forever home with us. (Unfortunately, Tesfaye has no memories of Hiwot in the village either, he was too busy with the older kids! - "Hiwot baby").



Hiwot remembers watching movies with singing and dancing. She'll often recognize familiar children's songs that were featured on the popular sing-a-long tapes: "we sing Layla's House" - she knows all the words and dances to these songs!

She remembers there being lots of kids: "Lots of sisters at Layla's House". She tells us she slept in the boys room - in reality, she slept in the 3-year-old room, there were boys and girls. There was also a dog at the orphanage. Hiwot was terrified of the dog!

Hiwot tells of their food, two dinners, "injera food". They also had cake and other special treats for their parties.

She remembers Mommy and Daddy visiting her at "Layla's House". She remembers leaving and spending special time with "Hiwot and Mommy and Daddy and Hendrick and Tesfaye" in "Et-iopia". She recalls the games we played and the toys we brought during our two week stay before coming home together. She remembers eating injera and shiro with us and driving in a car. I am glad she remembers fondly our first meeting - we certainly have very fond memories of that special time together.


We recently got together with a local family who have two boys from Ethiopia (they arrived home 18 months ago). Tesfaye made fast friends, immediately connecting with the older boy. They sat close together, pouring over an Ethiopian picture book, proudly practiced saying their amharic alphabet, and told tales of school teachers in Addis pinching them. It was beautiful to watch these two Tennessee boys with similar life stories sharing together.

It is a privilege to have these precious memories and life-stories shared with us.
Thank you for enriching all of our lives, my children, thank you.


*The stats are in . . . in 4-1/2 months at home, both Hiwot and Tesfaye have each grown over 2 inches. Hiwot has gained 4 pounds in weight, Tesfaye has gained 10 pounds!!!

Ethiopia: Addis Merkato

Ethiopia boasts having the Largest Open-Air Market in Africa . . . the bustling Addis Merkato ("new market") covers several square miles in downtown Addis Ababa.

We ventured into the Merkato on our last day in Addis to purchase spices. The Merkato is one of the most colorful and beautiful places I've ever witnessed. Photographs don't do it justice, they fail to capture the vast size, vibrant colors, busyness, sounds and smells.
It was wonderful to see "real" Ethiopia and experience where Ethiopians shop (as the only ferenji, we really stood out!).

Caution for other travelers: while the Merkato is a safe place to visit, pick-pockets are unfortunately very common, so be smart about your gear . . . and take someone with you as a guide - this large market can be overwhelming!

Ethiopia: Entoto Mountain

While we were in Addis Ababa in January for our Adoption Court Trip, we took a drive up Entoto Mountain.

Addis Ababa was built in the foothills of Entoto Mountain, founded in 1887 as the new capital of Ethiopia. The site was chosen by Empress Taytu, wife of Menelik II, naming it "new flower" (Addis Ababa). The former capital sits on the top of Entoto Mountain (to the north of Addis Ababa).

The drive up was quick; passing livestock grazing, children playing, water collecting, shop venders, and women* burdened with loads of sticks and branches as we whipped around the steep hairpin turns. Each turn revealing beautiful vistas.

*The mountain in forested with Eucalyptus trees, introduced to Ethiopia during the reign of Menelik II. These trees are fast disappearing to be used as fuel in cooking fires. In Addis, it is estimated that 15,000 women and children make their living as wood carriers, carrying heavy loads of branches from Entoto Mountain down to the city each day. The Ethiopian Women Fuel Carriers Project is working to help these women with jobs and health care, and also address the wood shortage in Addis.
On top of Entoto, a few structures remain - remnants of the former capital of Ethiopia. The former Palace of Menelik II, and the churches of Mariam and Archangel Raguel. The former palace of Emperor Menelik II and Empress Taytu (Menelik II ruled 1889 - 1909) is incredibly modest by western standards, the "palace" is a campus of small thatched roofed, mud/straw/egg shell plaster structures. Close by is the colorful (and still functioning) Kidist Mariam - St. Mary's Orthodox Church (dedicated to Menelik II in 1876 and location of his coronation) and St. Mary's Museum, housing religious items and ceremonial clothing from Menelik II. The octagonal church of Archangel Raguel Church is designed in three "layers". The inner section, Holy of Holies, is covered with magnificent floor-to-ceiling paintings of New Testament writings and the accomplishments of African Saints. On the grounds of Archangel Raguel church are the remains of a 13th Century rock-hewn church.

Ethiopia: Food

Ethiopian food is our most favorite - we have been eating it regularly for the past 3-1/2 years at Abyssinia Ethiopian Restaurant in Memphis. We thoroughly enjoyed eating authentic Ethiopian food in Ethiopia for all of our meals during our week-long trip. We can't wait to return for more!

Ethiopian food characteristically consists of spicy wats (stews) served atop injera (a large round pancake/crepe type spongy sour dough flat bread made of teff flour). You eat this with your right hand (using the left is seen as rude as it is considered unclean), tearing off a piece of injera and using this to "pinch" a bite of food. When finished with the meal, it is common practice to leave a small piece of injera uneaten to show that you have had your fill.

We found it interesting that the Ethiopians we dined with, didn't think we would be able to handle the spice in the dishes (we had read that there is a wide held belief among Ethiopians that they are the only people in the world who can tolerate spicy food). One of our drivers insisted on testing our food and then anxiously watched our reactions as we ate. Once he realized that we do indeed enjoy spicy Ethiopian food, he relaxed considerably and seemed very impressed. In most restaurants, we were given the "ferenji menu" with Western food options. I think we shocked many ordering Ethiopian food.
Common ingredients: berbere spice blend, onion, garlic, ginger, niter kibbeh (spice infused clarified butter), tomato, peppers, lentils, beef, chicken, fish, lamb, cabbage, potato

In Ethiopia, fasting is practiced as many as 250 days of the year (Orthodox Ethiopians fast on Wednesdays and Fridays, 56 days during Lent, 40 days for Advent, and more). During these fasting days, only one meal is consumed containing no meat or dairy products.
Misr Wot (Lentil stew) and Shiro Wot (chickpea stew) are the most common food on Fasting days. I think if we lived in Ethiopia, we would "fast" everyday. We often ordered Bayenatu Fasting: a little bit of all of the vegetarian dishes. Our very favorite was Shiro!

Shiro and Bayenatu Fasting

One popular dish in Ethiopia, which we did not partake: raw beef.

We have been working to perfect several Ethiopian dishes at home. It will be important to be able to serve Hiwot and Tesfaye familiar food (and we all like it so much!). Mmmmm!

Lake Awassa

On the shores of the beautiful Lake Awassa, the smallest of the Rift Valley Lakes, with mountainous backdrop, hippos, grivet monkeys, marabou storks; the Eastern edge of the city of Awassa, capital of SNNPR in Ethiopia. The bustling and vibrant fish market. We arrived early to watch the hauls of tilapia and catfish brought on shore, detangled from nets, sold fresh or cooked in oil. Huge marabou storks patrolled the lake edge - reaching 4 feet tall with a wing-span of over 8 feet. Young children threw pieces of fish to the storks and then asked for a few Birr from us ferenji (they were helping us to get good pictures and wanted payment for the service). Monkeys skittered between fish stalls.
On the opposite shore, men standing in reed boats with 20 foot poles, collected floating grasses, to be used for thatch roofs of local huts.